What Is A Worry Box?
A worry box is a container where a person, often a child, can write down or draw their worries and place them inside.
Get Started By Explaining It To Your Child...
Firstly, it's we. So, the first thing you need to do is explain to your child what a worry box is. It's important that your explanation helps them understand the following:
We All Worry Sometimes: It's normal to worry at times. It's important your child knows that worrying doesn't mean they are bad in any way. Talking about this openly with them, without rushing to reassure them, is the first step.
This Box Is Where Worries Go: Worrying shouldn't ruin everything we enjoy about life. It's normal to worry, but it's also normal to find ways to cope.
I'm In This With You: You are doing this activity together. As many times as you need. This reinforces the first two steps, and makes the task let daunting.
And Then Making It...
Choose A Box/Container
This is an important one, because this is an important place to choosing the container is an important part of the exercise. Here are some considerations around your choice:
Is it going to be a cardboard box? A wooden box? Maybe a jar! Are you buying it or making it?
If you're using a cardboard box, seal the lid with some Sellotape and make a slit in the top—kind of like a piggy bank or a ballot box.
If it's a jar or a wooden box, make sure your child can easily open it.
You might want to get fancy with some string to tie it closed—but not too fancy. Your child needs to be able to undo that knot!
Decorate The Chosen Box/Container
Provide a bunch of materials for your child to decorate with. If you're going shopping for them, and you can, maybe select the products together and give your child some autonomy. Here is a good list to get you started, and you maybe have a lot of it laying around anyway:
Felt tip pens and colour pencils
Paints—this might make you feel anxious, but try and trust the process.
Wrapping of tissue paper, or coloured card.
Stickers and glitter.
Some of the above might mean you need glue—Pritt Stick or PVC maybe.
That is probably a core list, but you might also consider the following:
Sequins
Pom-poms
Ribbons
Fabric scraps
Wrapping paper
Magazine cut-outs
Photos or pictures
Beads or buttons
Feathers
Natural materials like leaves or twigs, which have been dried and sealed.
Decorate The Box/Container
Provide a bunch of materials for your child to decorate with. If you're going shopping for them, and you can, maybe select the products together and give your child some autonomy. Here is a good list to get you started, and you maybe have a lot of it laying around anyway:
Felt tip pens and colour pencils
Paints—this might make you feel anxious, but try and trust the process.
Wrapping of tissue paper, or coloured card.
Stickers and glitter.
Some of the above might mean you need glue—Pritt Stick or PVC maybe.
That is probably a core list, but you might also consider the following:
Sequins
Pom-poms
Ribbons
Fabric scraps
Wrapping paper
Magazine cut-outs
Photos or pictures
Beads or buttons
Feathers
Natural materials like leaves or twigs, which have been dried and sealed
Label The Box/Container
This almost goes in with the above section, but it's important enough to warrant its own section—somewhere, you need to write the words 'Worry Box' in a visible place so you and your child are agreed what it is.
Prepare Some Blank Slips
You can do this alone or with your child. Just cut up some A4 or A3 paper into long strips, like ribbons.
And Then Using It!
Agree A Place To Keep It
This is an important for a few reasons. It etablishes a contract around the box, and how it used and how to think about it. As far as possible, let your child lead on where it is kept. Here are some things to consider when making this decision together:
Try to avoid in or next to your child's bedroom—keep some distance between their safe space and their worries. If you find your child worries a lot about things that are your job to manage as a parent or carer, maybe this is a chance to work on that and tell them you can handle this.
They might want a discreet place to put this, rather than on display—so maybe a kitchen or living room cupboard. They might just as much be comfortable with having it on the side in the kitchen or on the mantlepiece, try not to influence this and see what they say.
Agree A Tim and Place To Use It Together
The key part of this is that it is something you do together. It's not something you look through without them, and it's not something they do constantly. This is to contain and contextualise worries. Consider, is it:
A certain time every week, or
As and when your child feels particularly anxious.
Remember, this is something you do together, so set good rules together and try to stick to them. Let both of you refer to them.
Get Your Child To Write Down Their Worries
At your agreed time, do this on a regular basis. Give them a pen and the blank slips. You can write for your child if they need this.
Ask Your Child To Share Their Worries With You
This is a bit formulaic, so:
Ask them to share the worries with you one by one.
Spend some time both of you just thinking about and acknowledging this worry; you can repeat the worry back to them to demonstrate your understanding.
If you can, maybe ask your child want solving this worry might look like, or come up with a plan or strategies together.
When you're done with one worry, ask your child to fold it up and put it in the box.
Repeat this until you're done.
Leave The Worries In The Box, Put The Box In Its Place
With your child, recognise that the worries have gone in the box and that is where they stay—in the box. They belong to the box now and can be let go. Now you're done, follow the process you agreed together of shutting the box and putting it away.
Finish Up By Thinking About Something Positive
Nothing elaborate—maybe you did something fun together recently, or watched a fun film. It can be anything. This is important for the process so you can feel that you have processed the worries and moved onto positivity.
What Are The Benefits of Worry Boxes?
This physical act of transferring worries from one's mind into the box can be therapeutic, as it helps to:
Externalise Worries: Putting worries on paper and into a box makes them feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
Give A Sense of Control: The act of choosing what to put in the box and when to revisit the worries can be empowering.
Facilitate Communication: The worry box can serve as a starting point for conversations with a trusted adult about the worries contained within.
Offer Relief: The box acts as a safe space to store worries until the person is ready to address them.
Worry boxes can be particularly helpful for children who may struggle to express their anxieties verbally. However, adults can also benefit from using worry boxes as a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety.