What Is There To Know About Sexuality?
Sexuality questioning, like gender questioning, is a natural and normal part of human development. It involves exploring one's attractions, desires, and romantic or sexual orientation. This process can include questioning societal norms and expectations around sexuality and relationships.
Sexuality questioning is not a phase or a disorder. It's a personal journey of self-discovery that can occur at any age. Sexuality exists on a spectrum, and not everyone identifies with the labels or expectations they were raised with.
People can, at any age, decide that the sexual orientation they previously identified with doesn't fully encompass their experiences. This process of questioning and exploration is a healthy part of understanding one's sexuality. People, at any age, can also identify with any sexuality and can know their own minds. Just because you did not know about your sexuality at that age, doesn't mean they cannot know. Even if you think they might change their minds, listen to them with an open mind.
These terms are helpful to understand:
People who experience attraction exclusively or predominantly to people of the same gender/sex are often referred to as 'gay' or 'lesbian'.
People who experience attraction to people of more than one gender or sex may identify as 'bisexual', 'pansexual', or 'queer'.
People who do not experience sexual attraction may identify as 'asexual'. They may call themselves 'ace'.
Some people choose not to label their sexuality at all.
It's important to remember that sexuality is fluid and can evolve over time. There is no right or wrong way to experience or express one's sexuality. The journey of self-discovery is unique to each individual.
There are some myths around this, and they are...
What Are The Myths?
It's Just A Phase
This harmful myth dismisses the genuine feelings and experiences of young people exploring their sexuality. While some individuals may experience shifts in their attractions or labels over time, this doesn't invalidate their current feelings or identities.
They Are Too Young To Know
Sexuality can begin to develop at a young age, and many individuals have a strong sense of their attractions even in childhood or adolescence. Dismissing their experiences can lead to feelings of shame and isolation.
They Are Influenced By Their Peers and The Media
While social influences can play a role in identity development, sexuality is not something that is "caught" or "chosen." Young people are not simply mimicking their peers or the media when they express their attractions or identity.
They Will Be Bullied/Unhappy
While lesbian, gay, bisexual and, to a lesser extent, asexual youth are unfortunately at a higher risk of experiencing bullying and mental health challenges, this is not a direct result of their sexuality. This is usually a direct result of their peers being socialised to hold homophobic beliefs and a lack of zero tolerance policies towards this type of bullying.
With acceptance and support, lesbian, gay, bisexual and asexual youth can thrive and lead fulfilling lives into adulthood.
They Need To Be or Can Be 'Fixed'
There is nothing to fix or change about being lesbian, gay, bisexual or another non-heterosexual orientation. Attempts to change a person's sexual orientation through therapy or other means are harmful and ineffective.
How Can I Support My Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Asexual Child?
Listen, Validate:
Create a safe and open space for your child to talk about their feelings and experiences without fear of judgement.
Actively listen to them, acknowledge their feelings, and validate their experiences.
Let them know that you love and accept them unconditionally, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Educate Yourself:
Research and learn about LGB identities, coming out processes, and the challenges LGB youth might face.
Familiarise yourself with resources and support organisations for LGB individuals and their families.
Understand that your child's journey of self-discovery might be different from your own experiences.
Use Inclusive Language:
Use inclusive language that reflects your child's identity and experiences.
Ask your child about their preferred pronouns and use them consistently.
Ask them if they identify as gay or in another way. Don't assume.
Avoid making assumptions about their relationships or future partners.
Challenge Discrimination:
Challenge any discriminatory or homophobic remarks or behaviours you witness.
Teach your child about the importance of standing up against injustice and discrimination.
Advocate for inclusive policies and practices in your child's school and community.
Connect Them With Support:
Help your child find and connect with other LGB youth and supportive adults.
Encourage them to participate in LGB youth groups, online communities, or other safe spaces where they can feel a sense of belonging.
If your child is struggling, help them find a therapist or counsellor who is knowledgeable and affirming of LGB identities.
Celebrate Their Identity:
Celebrate your child's identity and let them know you are proud of them for being true to themselves.
Attend Pride events or other celebrations of LGB culture and community with your child.
Help them find positive role models and representations of LGB people in media and popular culture.
National Resources
